In this episode, I explore the misconceptions surrounding wealth and money. I approach this with my own personal musings (and please see them only as such: my own opinions or judgments) and I explore the common desire of having enough money to do what we want, and how this pursuit can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction. Also, I discuss the fallacy of thinking that having enough money means not having to think about it. True wealth and happiness stem from within, not from material possessions.
(Keep reading for a written version of this podcast episode)
Here are 5 🗝 takeaways you'll discover when you tune in:
1. The pursuit of having "enough money to do what you want, when you want" can lead to a never-ending cycle of wanting more, thanks to hedonic adaptation.
2. Simply desiring enough money to stop thinking about money may result in missed opportunities and unfulfilled relationships, as wealth often requires constant mindfulness.
3. Wealth doesn't necessarily equate to happiness beyond a certain point, as studies show that there's a diminishing return on happiness as income increases.
4. True richness lies in cultivating internal wealth through genuine happiness, nurturing relationships, and living a purposeful life.
5. Money is a tool that amplifies who we already are, but it's our internal state that truly enriches our lives.
As you soak in these insights, I encourage you to reflect on what truly brings you happiness and fulfillment.
So, my dear friend, I invite you to listen to the full episode and let my musings inspire you to create your own state of overflowing abundance. Let's fill our cups with genuine happiness and let that overflow guide our paths to true richness.
Share your thoughts and reflections with me here on Substack.
Here's to embracing a life filled with happiness, purpose, and genuine abundance.
Are You Chasing Wealth But Missing Happiness? The Mistake You Might Be Making
I often hear two common expressions or desires when it comes to wealth and money, which reminds me of what truly matters in life, and find them both to connect around some typical misunderstandings. And I thought that today, I wanted to simply make some musing around this and share my thoughts with you. So, the first expression that I’ve heard a lot over the past few years, is:
“I just want to have enough money so that I can do what I want when I want.”
I’ll quickly address this right now. The amount that you need in order to be able to “simply do what you want, when you want.” tends to go up over time, and it eventually becomes harder and harder to maintain, locking you into stressful and pressured situations. Because of the phenomenon called hedonic adaptation we tend to return to our set point or baseline. Meaning that our levels of happiness tend to stay the same. So even after having accumulated massive amounts of being able to do whatever you want whenever you want, after a while this becomes the new norm, and so it can feel … a bit lacking. So you need something grander and on and on it goes … driving up the cost of such a lifestyle – all for the simple reason that not everyone knows when enough is enough.
Moving on to the second expression that I’ve been engaged with recently,
”I just want enough money so that I don't have to think about money.”
Here I’m concerned that there’s a big misunderstanding informing one’s desire and goal … One that is based on the idea that once you have enough money you won’t have to think or worry about money ever again … I’m afraid that just isn’t true.
Having this misinformed belief can be a source for a great deal of suffering, sacrifice, disappointment and regret – in many ways, wasted time, energy and even … money.
Here’s my argument.
In some of my work and even in my personal relationships I’ve come to see how people with great wealth often ARE wealthy only because they are being mindful about money – money is often on their mind! They never DON’T think about money, which is why they’ve managed to gather their wealth in the first place.
People with great wealth are wealthy simply because they actually think about money, if not always then at least often. For example, with great wealth comes the need to manage ones money; balance sheets, cash flow, emergency fund, investments, debt management, tax planning, retirement planning, estate planning, insurances, financial advisors and more … You see, a lot of thinking and planning goes into having significant wealth. And what can be even worse than all the planning is the worrying – the worrying about losing it all!
Losing significant amounts of money is a reality for people with money. Often because having all this wealth has become intertwined with their identity, status and perceived self-worth. They are afraid of being judged or ridiculed if they experienced a financial loss. THAT and the fact that they’ve curated an expensive lifestyle for themselves, makes the fear of having to make changes to their “comfortable” way of living where they lose all or portions of their wealth..
I’ve mentioned before on this podcast how people with money can feel that it’s hard to know if their friends are more interested in them or their money, simply leading to a paranoia and doubt that can prevent a relationship from thriving. Together with all the aforementioned reasons, I argue that having more money doesn’t necessarily lead to more happiness.
Many studies have been done on happiness and financial stability, and it points out that to a certain degree moving from poverty to more financial stability and security will increase one's level of happiness. But after that level more money has a diminishing return, it simply won’t move the needle as much. As can be seen in the image below.
As I mentioned before, rich people are often rich because they have money on their mind most of the time. To maintain an upward facing trajectory for happiness beyond a certain level of wealth people will have to have a financial planner, in order to take some of the responsibilities and pressure off of themselves.
A very real thing is that more money might be found with happy people, but that doesn’t mean that money is the source of their happiness – just because there’s correlation doesn't mean there's causation. I like to argue that happy people can make more money, for the simple fact that happier people are easier to get along with and are often people you want to listen to, they’re more open to opportunities and tend to be offered MORE opportunities.
Perhaps it’s happiness that earns you money and that money only solves money problems.
For example, I used to say that the problems that I work on with clients are things that can’t be resolved simply by throwing money at it. If by throwing more money at it would simply fix their situation then us working together probably isn’t the right investment. What is instead required is growth. A whole new way of being.
I often recommend that we all fill our own cups first, and that we keep filling it until it overflows. The overflow is what we can share freely and unconditionally. There’s simply more to give from a state of overflowing happiness rather than a state of lack and stress. And again, I’m not saying that what should fill your cup is money … Money can be part of it, and tend to follow the overflowing happiness. What I want you to do is to focus on what makes you feel better, what it is that makes you happy, that which feels comfortable and fulfilling. That will fill your cup, and the rest will follow.
Personally, I have the opportunities to make more money if I’d hustle, sacrifice and will myself into more projects. But when I’m enjoying 20-hour workweeks, time and energy for my relationships and my passions in life, it’s hard to convince myself of their importance and to care too much about such projects.
Wanting to be so rich that you don’t have to think about money, as I’ve said, is somewhat of a misunderstanding and can be a ruinous pursuit. And with great wealth comes great fear of losing it all. But money isn’t the source of anything, it’s simply energy. And like with energy it transforms. So it’s not that you can lose it, it’s simply that it transforms into something different. Perhaps the spending of money (or even the loss of it) translates into an experience, motivation, passion, wisdom, joy, closeness or goodness. Money works as an amplifier which can help you be more of who you are, it doesn’t change you.
In the end, it’s crucial to recognize that money is merely a tool, a form of energy that amplifies who we already are. It doesn’t inherently bring happiness or fulfilment; those come from within. By focusing on what truly makes us happy, nurturing our relationships, and living a life of purpose and joy, we create a state of overflowing abundance. This internal wealth, characterised by contentment and fulfilment, is what truly enriches our lives.
Remember, the goal isn’t to accumulate wealth to the point of not having to think about it, but rather to cultivate a mindset where money serves its purpose without overshadowing the essence of what makes life meaningful. Fill your cup with genuine happiness and let that overflow guide your path, for it is in this overflow that we find true richness.
Music from #Uppbeat
https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/thermal
https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/snake-oil
https://uppbeat.io/t/cutesy-chamber-ensemble/little-tumbles
https://uppbeat.io/t/prigida/burble
Are You Chasing Wealth But Missing Happiness? The Mistake You Might Be Making